My denomination’s bi-annual conference ended tonight. The JenkTank family is chilling out now at our hotel, getting ready to start vacation. When I think back on the last few days events, I have those noticed these things:
1. I am embarrassingly bad with names. If you were one of the several thousand people whose name I forgot this week, I apologize. If you don’t know you were, here’s how you can tell.
- If at any point in the conversation, I introduced you to another person without saying your name, I forgot it and I was hoping you would introduce yourself. Thanks for holding out and making me look like an idiot. Not that I needed help.
- If I kept staring at your name tag, and flipping mine over at the same time, I forgot. Signals, Jerry, signals.
- If at any point in the conversation I called you, “Champ,” “Doc,” “Buddy,” “Dude,” or “Bro,” or, even worse, if upon seeing you I said, “Hey, hey, there he is!” I forgot. This I learned from living in the South. It’s not really lying, it’s just buying time until God uses his finger like in Daniel to write the guy’s name on the wall behind him.
2. I really didn’t think people actually thought this way. When we moved to Spanafrederickallup Hill, I guess I completely forgot how thick most people are. After having been in my amazing network, and with my awesome staff, I failed to remember that some people are really into speaking King James English while defending arcane points of obsolete language all the while managing to focus on the truly minute points of denominational Christianity. Hi Mr. Irrelevant, my name’s Mr. JenkTank, and your name I shan’t forget.
3. Orlando is hot, and trolleys are overrated. Full again? Really? I’m sorry, Orlando, I thought you were set up for conventions. Next General Council should be in a more prepared venue, like Mossy Rock.
4. I am too old to eat like this. I don’t think I need to explain any further.
5. Babies never poop at a convenient time. JenkTank 3.0, I’m looking at you.
6. We’ll be fine. Didn’t Jesus say that he would build His church? After this week, I am more convinced that we all need to lighten up a little. The things we think are important, the things we fight over, should never prevent us from doing the work Christ has created and called us to do. Don’t be too passive, and let the extremists of either persuasion hijack our fellowship, but don’t be a jerk. Let’s focus on God’s mission of reconciliation, introduce people to Jesus, and celebrate each other.
But that’s just me.
(I start my vacation tomorrow, so either there will be many posts, or not so many, we’ll see.)